SLOWING FOR HAPPINESS

1/ 14 weeks and a kitchen sink of garden roses

2/ iced tea cooling in the kitchen

3/ the last week of nap holds as a 23 month-er

4/ morning chats from bed

5/  husband in the early morning, talking to me at the foot of our bed

6/ packages for my shop

7/ hand holds

8/ tired eyes 

9/ a quiet sunday moment

every morning lately, i have been slowly given a hot cup of creamy coffee in bed and as i take my first sips, my husband opens the blinds on all three of our bedroom windows and sits at the foot of our bed (photo 5). he rubs the tops of my ankles and asks me about my day ahead, what i want to do. see. accomplish. 

god he looks beautiful in the morning light. his eyes are always smiling before his mouth.

i, on the other hand, usually feel like a wreck, my hair tangled in knots that look like a meteor's crashed into and my nighty is always twisted somewhere wrong on my body. my shoulders ache from holding our almost two year old in my arms all night and i yawn and usually tell him i'm not sure, except i just want to be happy.

happiness hasn't always felt the way it has today. especially today. it used to look a lot different for me. it used to be something tangible, something i could reach or taste or hold. a place i would have to uncover or journey to. an end product. 

but now, it's diluted to a necessity. my happiness is burrowed in what i feel, how i feel when i approach it, the pressure my body reacts to when pressed up right beside it. it's often as simple as walking outside to our garden, wondering what hour our first rose bloomed. it's as simple as sitting my baby boy on top of the counter with his messy, played-in shirt, listing off the ingredients that go into our smoothie. it's as simple as my husband bringing me home a bag of berry skittles or him telling me he finds me beautiful in a moment i would have never considered. it's going to a nursery and picking out the palest pink of snapdragons or finding a documentary on netflix that both excites our eyes. 

it's nothing more than the life that encircles my own. it's the house of all that's built around us. it's the bloodline that links me back to where i need to always stay: in a state of perpetual gratefulness with a deep understanding of the contentment the floods our face when we close our eyes and know exactly what - and who - we see.

WE ARE HAVING A BABY

these past three months have been concentrated in abundance and beauty and more blessings than i'm warranted. we have hoped and prayed and dreamed about this baby for so long now, so to be carrying her - or him - inside me feels like a new planet that houses oxygen and water has been discovered. how can something so miraculous be happening?

our little one is due a week before halloween. we will have two babies to dress up now. i'm already wondering what they will be. wouldn't it be beautiful to dress them alike?

i can't wait to spend the summer in sundresses with my husband's hand on my stomach, whispering the dreams we have for him - or her, wondering, just like with gus, who they will become. whose eyes will they have? will they get my freckles or his curly hair? will they get his personality or my shyness? will they like the way i read to them, just like gus does? or will they want to be sung to instead?

we have been preparing our garden for ripe vegetables and fruit, centered around some of my very favorite cravings like cucumbers and fresh juicy tomatoes and watermelon so red you'd imagine them to share a bloodline with ruby's.

there is so much joy already and there is so much more joy to come. this time is precious. this life is precious. and this baby.

oh, this baby is precious.

keep growing, our little love. keep breathing inside me until i can breathe you out.

SNIPPETS.

a small front yard adventure before nap + new ruby shoes for mama.

freshly clipped sunday roses.

friday afternoon lunch of PB+ J's and strawberries under the sycamore tree.

sunday afternoon preparations for dada's coming home.

while gus plays, hot lemon water and freshly cut grass.

his newest obsession: lacing and re-lacing dada's boots.

sunday afternoon sitting on the bench, watching my boys, with a heart so full.

how i get ready some days: plop him on top of the toilet and give him a pb+ j

our orange roses the color of a sunrise.

/i have been listening to this song about ten times a day. i simply can't get enough.

/the "amazing greens" smoothie from jamba juice is something i crave every single day.

/ would love this print for our home

/ we watched this documentary the other night. wow. 

/ this article

/this beautiful company, their aesthetic and the look of these candles and market basket 

xo

GIVEAWAY + REVIEW: PUNJAMMIES BY SUDARA

when i was first contacted by sudara, i was immediately drawn to their mission: to give women in India a safe, healing environment to work in by escaping the sex trafficking industry and providing a life of freedom and opportunity. you can read more about their story and program here. it is reported that there have been close to 200,000 nights of peaceful sleep for the past year for over 180+ women and their children associated with their sewing centers.

it is with great honor and joy that i share with you a company with a true mission and incredible vision that i not only support but deeply respect and love. their products are beautifully made, colorful and incredibly comfortable. i am wearing the Punjammies in Swathi Full and have already been lounging in them for a few days and can't seem to take them off! what it is even more exciting is that they are working on new products every day (including a men's line and a new girl's line). what's even sweeter for those of you who are mama's of girls, you can match with your little one for those cozy mornings at home!

today, Sudara has just launched their new website and with it, a rebranding. please have a read here. to celebrate, the gracious team at Sudara is offering one instagram follower a pair of Punjammies in the color and size of choice.

to enter through instragram, simply:

1. follow me, kerrie, on instagram @bonjourmoon
2. follow Sudara on instagram @sudaragoods
3. tag three friends as many times as you like, each comment counts as one entry.

(if you do not have instagram, feel free to enter via this blog in the comments)

winner chosen this Thursday, April 14 at 12pm Pacific.

Thank you for reading and GOOD LUCK!

OUR BIRTHDAY BOY.

on the twenty-fifth of this month, augustus george moon is turning two. even typing that feels foreign and odd, as he is still so very little, so very much my little baby. while i will probably make a few more sentimental and dedicated posts to his two years of life, i thought it would be fun to put together a little mood board for some gifts we would love to give him. just a few things that really represent the beautiful boy that he is and is every day becoming.

we don't have any plans to have a big party, but just a small family celebration at our home, with balloons and a cake and bubbles and music. we did something similar for his birthday last year, and i think he was quite pleased.

1. a mop and broom set, because this little boy of ours love, love loves to do both.
2. a big boy backpack for summer adventures, sleepovers, trips to the beach and campouts in our backyard and elsewhere.
3. the perfect swimsuit to protect his milky skin. he is so tiny that i'm sure he'll still be swimming in 18-24months.
4. a beautiful wooden firetruck, so he can imitate his favorite sound in the world.
5. a timeless sunhat, for all our outdoor time together.
6. a blender, so he can maybe stop carrying our vitamix around every single day since thanksgiving.
7. a submarine, to take to the park and in his baths.
8. a bird night light, because he loves them so and how special is that.
9. a big boy version of our very favorite sandal.
10 & 11. classic books, he has a thing for them, and so do i.

MY SMALL MOTHERHOOD MOMENTS.

1/ palm desert bougainvillea mornings

2/ a tuesday we won't ever forget

3/ ten thousandth sleeping moment

4/ collected cards above gus' changing table

5/ "hug the clouds, baby boy"

6/ desert curiosities 

7/ before the pool

8/pick up from the airport, hand kisses on the ride home

9/ cloud gazing

lately, i've been waking at least three times a night. sometimes to pee, sometimes because gus is pressed too tightly against my body. other times because i can't turn the volume down low enough on my thoughts. when i wake, i softly bring my leg over to my husband's side, touching the soft tops of his feet, resting mine in their arch, even if for a moment. 

i've done this for as long as i can remember. mostly because i find great comfort in touch and in knowing where i belong. and that all i can ever hope to find will always exist within those feet that span the length of our bed.

in those still moments in the middle of the night, in the moments when i look to my right and see two extensions of my heart sleeping under the big dark sky, in our small white room - i know i have been led to them, to this place, by something more than perfect algorithms. 

with them, i am in my own galaxy, or a wormhole that exists right outside of everyone else's, where time both stops and fastens itself. 

i like to think that we are the stars and suns and moons that circle in unison by the weight of our own shared gravity.

/

a note to my gus

this morning while papa went to go get more coffee, you came back to bed where i was laying, and placed a giant bag of popcorn onto the bed and tried feeding me.

one for you, one for me.

one for you, one for me.

 you kissed my face about ten times, looked up with your finger pointing straight and said "airplane."

and then laughed before getting quiet again, burrowing yourself into my soft mama chest.

EASTER 2015

our second easter together was so deeply sweet. gus woke to an in-house egg hunt that led to his easter basket, and watching him scream with such joy at finding each plastic egg brought me to my knees. when he finally got to his basket, he saw a green watering can as well as a straw hat and just about lost it with happiness.

we then went to church, received a powerful and beautiful message about our savior, and shared pancakes in the pouring rain before heading to my parents for another mini egg hunt.

i think my very favorite part of the entire day was when our augustus george fell asleep in my dad's arms outside on the patio, his little hands still clenching onto his melted m&m's.

last year's easter here.