February 17, 2016


she is four months old today, our fiorella primrose. how has time come to work so swiftly through our days, like a flood gate that has been unlocked, where water rushes through, unable to be stopped, contained, even managed. it moves through us, we are but a wake in its hold.

our beautiful girl is not of this earth, we are all convinced. her glow is palpable. her eyes glaze into another solar system entirely every time she smiles. and oh my, does she smile. maybe three hundred times a day. or more. but who's counting? i'm much too busy being on the other side of her. much too busy taking her in, living alongside her life, breathing alongside her ocean.

i introduced her to our daffodils yesterday as they sprang up through the center of the earth over the weekend. "this one is peach," i say. "and this one, a jonquil."

often, i tell steve that "i know she really, truly loves me." because i can feel her love balancing between her heart and mine, as though you were standing next to a roaring winter fire with bare skin. i can feel it in my lungs. i can fill it on my face.

her smile is crooked and her hair is growing. she curls her toes, each one touching its counterpart, and sometimes she grabs them when she's unaware. she sleeps everytime she nurses, and pulls off only to smile back. she has a dimple inside each cheek and one on the side of her left eye. she sings the song of her people and laughs silently and somehow i can hear it.

all this time of waiting was only meant to lead us to her. she is small and soft, "like a bird," my father says.

she is a bird. a flower. an angel. whatever we call her, she is still only ever, her.

a primrose. the start of a dream.


  1. Your primrose is all and everything. I can hardly believe how fast she is growing. She is beautiful, so beautiful...layers and layers of beauty. I think she smiles like you. xx

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  4. Kerrie I was reading Beatrix Potters Gardening Life. Do you have this book? If not you can purchase it on Amazon. I know you would like it. Anyway on the chapter for Spring this is what it says...

    "On the roadsides and in the open woodlands around Sawrey, the English primroses push up in the grass with their pale yellow petals and bright yellow centers. This is the first wildflower in abundance, and must have been for the Romans as well, the word 'primrose' coming from the Latin for first, prima, and rose, rosa. "

    On the opposite page is a watercolor painting by Beatrix of the delicate yellow primrose petals. Of course I thought of your Fiorella Primrose and knew you might like to jot this down in a journal for her. Names are so meaningful and I take great care to value their meaning. I believe you do too. All of my childrens names have stories with depths of meaning. Sweet sea kisses I am blowing to you xx

    1. I am ordering this on Amazon right now, because of this beautiful comment and thought. I can't wait to read it to her and to slowly flip to the chapter on Spring. I truly cannot think of anything more beautiful to do with her this week. Thank you my sweet friend for this. What a gift. XO