OUR SICK BOY.

our augustus george came down with a nasty fever on saturday evening and hasn't left the island of my arms and chest for days. we have been cuddling most of the day under the covers, watching ina garten and youtube rhymes and reading the same books over and over in the sanctuary that is mama and papa's bed.

we get up to bathe or slice some apples and pour cups of juice and then wiggle our bodies right back under the covers to cuddle some more. the days have been cold and foggy and the dark comes so quickly i don't notice the hours that pass and i am cherishing this fleeting time we have together, when all the world keeps spinning. 

while it has ripped my heart out of my very chest seeing my only son so very sick with croup, these warm, yearning cuddles have meant everything to me. the way he needs me, just my warmth and touch. the way he needs me to hold him and sing to him and tell him how much i love him. the way he needs just me, nothing more.

it reminds me how holy love can be and how much it is i who needs him.