it's monday morning and i am writing this from my bed while i listen to my eleven month old boy talk very loudly as papa's records are playing. and by talk very loudly, i mean yoddel. i have my coffee at my bedside and our bedroom is a complete disaster but i am healthy and strong and felt the need to write, so in this small space of a few minutes, that's exactly what i am doing.
lately, i have had this strong urge to celebrate, even the tiniest of victories. i did not grow up this way, but rather, it is something that my husband and i have grown to live for. we celebrate him landing a new client. we celebrate that his 30-hour work day is over. we celebrate that it's sunday afternoon or that we went two weeks being incredibly frugal. we celebrate my shop's opening or its two-week mark. we celebrate blog posts or photo shoots. or simply, we celebrate our ideas and dreams that feel like they are so close to surfacing.
by celebrating, we are giving life to the small victories that we have worked for, dreamed of, or even never thought possible. it is something we do, together, and acknowledge that putting our head down to work is often the only way to truly work. it doesn't happen by saying it will happen. it doesn't happen by dreaming about it happening. it happens when you focus and don't stop until some pulse awakens inside and it starts moving, starts functioning exactly how you wanted it to.
i've come to realize that it may not look exactly how you want it to. it may not even be close. but as long as you start the process, you're a whole hell of a lot closer.
our small celebrations rarely require much. sometime's it's a nice bottle of wine and toasting and talking and hugging and kissing (andd...!). sometimes it's a bar of our favorite chocolate. sometimes it's just laying together, long after gus is in bed, just being. sometimes it's to the coffee shop. or out to dinner, just us (so rare).
i believe in this like it's part of my genetic make up now. but i have also realized that as a new mom, it's ok, too, to treat ourselves to small "things" without needing a reason. it's ok to say yes to ourselves.
how easy it is for me to type that. how impossible it is for me to follow because i rarely do this. i rarely buy myself anything i really, truly love. i rarely buy myself what i really want. and that's because i always figure it's not needed, unnecessary, and what i am is already enough and what i have is just fine. and how dare i even think along these lines when i know so many out there have so little? who are we to even have the right to want such things?
and they are, in fact, just that. things.
but, the other day, i put my guilt aside and with my husband demanding i treat myself to something special, something i really wanted, i took a few hours to myself (with my sweet mama), and did just that. not because i (or we) needed to celebrate anything, but because it's important to indulge simply, sometimes.
i actually went out and bought three shirts i truly loved and a lipstick that makes me feel like my true self. three peasant shirts, and lipstick, that's what i chose.
they are simple and beautiful and the perfect reminder to me that as a woman, it doesn't take much to feel a little more beautiful.